Changes Will Come Whether We Choose Them or Not

Serenity prayerChange is inevitable, and you would do well to live in that reality and be prepared to deal with it when it occurs. But how do you respond to change so you are not defeated by it?

Be honest about how you feel and what you think about the change. Sometimes it may not be possible or wise to share that with the person who is the reason for the change until both of you are in a right frame of mind to do so. In the meantime, you need to be able to share with someone what you are thinking and feeling about the change. This honest sharing helps to decrease anger and keep resentment from building. It also serves to give you some perspective on managing the change.

Acknowledge what you have control over and what is outside your sphere of influence. This idea is well articulated in the first four lines of the well-known Serenity Prayer made popular by Reinhold Niebuhr.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Take actions that will help you manage the change in a healthy way. Avoid giving time and energy to things you have no control over; you have nothing to gain by expending time and emotions on these things. When we deliberately release the things we can do nothing about, we make ourselves more available to receive the blessings that the new brings.

Where possible, try to get as many details as you can about the change. What is goal of the change? When will it be implemented? Who will it affect? Why is it necessary? Who is asking for it?  What all this questioning does is help you better understand why this change is taking place, and if possible, you can make suggestions regarding the change.

In some instances you have no control over the change, such as a sudden major illness or an accident. While honestly expressing your thoughts and feelings to the appropriate person(s), you will need to make necessary attitude adjustments to manage the change in a healthy way.

In other circumstances you may chose to leave the place where the change is taking place because you have no control of what is taking place, and you are not prepared to be part of it. The honorable thing to do is to leave. What you do not want to do is remain in the place of change while you are unwilling to go along with it. You would not want someone on the team who was unwilling to support you in a time of change. Staying will only cause resentment and anger to rise toward those responsible.

Change is inevitable in life, but you can certainly decide how you will manage it when you have to deal with it. Ultimately, how you deal with change and allow it to affect you is really up to you.

Is there some kind you change you are currently dealing with that you need to revisit in order to handle it in a healthier way? Is there someone dealing with change who could use your help to manage it in a healthier way?

If you would like help in achieving your goals in any area of your life, call us at 208-880-0307 or email us at to schedule a complimentary coaching session. To read Errol’s other posts, visit Christ-Centered Life Coaching.

Photo credit: Leonard John Matthews / / CC BY-NC-SA