What’s Your Motivation, Part 2
Someone once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” In a world driven by image, we easily can fall into the trap of trying to fit in or be liked. In doing so, we may become someone we are not.
I recall trying to create an image to get a girl’s attention. A mutual friend invited both of us to go to the beach. I thought this was my opportunity to impress. I will never forget how they made fun of me that day because in my attempt to project a different image, I was way over-dressed for the occasion.
You are never your best you when trying to fit in, be liked, or impress. Let me suggest two things to help you be the best you can be.
Remember those Capital One commercials that end with, “What’s in your wallet?” I’m not planning to ask you that question, but how about this one: “What’s in your heart?” In other words, what motivates you to make the choices you make and do the things you do?
Whether or not you are aware of it, or whether or not you chose to acknowledge it, something motivates every choice you make. You are motivated to observe the speed limit when you see a police cruiser parked off to the side of the road and an officer with a speed gun trained on you.
On vacation one summer I was jogging when I came upon a snake. You have to understand: I have phobia for snakes. I saw the snake from a distance but I couldn’t tell if it was just lying there, dead, or crossing the path. All I remember was turning around and running as fast as I could. You see, because of my fear and phobia of snakes, I was motivated to run as fast as I could and not stop until I returned to my hotel room.
Anger is an emotion that is all too familiar. But it’s just that: an emotion. Yet, too many of us allow anger to take control of a moment, or of our lives. There is no such thing as life without anger, for God created us with a capacity for it.
We know that Jesus got angry when he saw the money changers using the Temple courtyard as a place to buy and sell, instead of a place of prayer as it was meant to be. He showed his anger by turning over the tables and clearing out the money changers (Matt.21:12-13). Paul tells us in Eph. 4:26 that we should not let anger control us, nor let the sun go down on our anger.
If anger is something we were made to experience, why have we allowed it to wreck such havoc in our lives? When left unchecked, it leads to all sorts of destructive behaviors: lying, cheating, hurting the ones we love by mistreating them, and in the most extreme case, committing murder.
5 Steps to Help You Rediscover Passion for Life and Leadership Step 5
Emotional intelligence (EQ) has much to do with relating well to others, being able to “read” and respond appropriately to them. In that, EQ is a lot like dancing. When dancing, if you are out of sync with your partner the dance neither looks good nor ends well. Being in sync with your dance partner is largely about awareness: what is the next move, how do you respond, what’s the appropriate next step? In the same way, when you interact with others, if you lack the ability to detect the emotions of others – especially family, friends, and colleagues – those interactions usually neither look good nor end well. Last week we looked at the aspects of EQ that pertain to becoming aware of and managing your emotions. This week let’s look at the aspects of EQ that relate to social awareness of others’ feelings, then using that awareness to manage those relationships in healthy, meaningful, and productive ways. Daniel Goleman provides a model that refers to two moves in the dance of relating to others: social awareness and social skill.
- Social Awareness is the ability to sense what others are feeling, understand situations from the perspective of others, and cultivate relationships with a diverse range of people.
When is a conversation most frustrating to you? Is it not when you are sharing something
5 Steps to Rediscovering Your Passion for Life and Leadership Step 4
With all of the knowledge, skills, talents and drive you may have, if you are not emotionally self-aware, you will not succeed at your life’s goals. You do not have to look far to find someone who has failed at achieving their life’s goals because they did not take the time to know who they were emotionally, how to control their emotions, and what motivated their emotions. You yourself may have experienced consequences due to lack of awareness of emotional strengths and weaknesses; you failed because you thought you were strong in an area where you were actually weak.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, embracing them, being able to control your emotions, and knowing what motivates you are all aspects of emotional intelligence. The concept was made popular in the mid 90s by Daniel Goleman in his ground breaking book, Emotional Intelligence. Since this ground-breaking work, you hardly hear talk about self-improvement that does not include a focus on emotional intelligence.
If you are going to achieve your life goals and rediscover your passion for life, you will need to