With some, it is the short fuse or seemly uncontrollable anger. Others might have mood swings so you can never tell at any given interaction what mood the person’s in. Others are overly sarcastic. Then there are those who are never wrong and nothing is ever their fault; they are masters of blame-shifting.
Why do you find it so difficult to trust others? Why do you find it amusing when a child is honest and trusting? You were once like that child, completely trusting and honest with those around you. What has transpired from childhood to adulthood that now makes trusting others so difficult?
I have spoken with many people who have said they know they need to start trusting others, but they don’t know if they can. When I ask why, the typical answer is usually, “I am afraid others would judge me or not like me if they get to know the real me.” There is also the fear of letting others know that they are struggling.
Why do we find it difficult to trust others with who we are?
Developing trust takes time, effort and intentionality. You have to be conscious of the fact that you are working on building trust with the people you are leading. Do not expect to be trusted simply because of your title, power, authority, or job description. Trust is something you must earn from the people you lead.
With all the knowledge, skills, talents, and drive you may have, if you are not emotionally self-aware, you will not succeed at your life’s goals. You do not have to look far to find someone who has failed in this regard because they did not take the time to know who they were emotionally, how to control their emotions, and what motivated their emotions. You yourself may have experienced consequences due to lack of awareness of emotional strengths and weaknesses; perhaps you failed because you thought you were strong in an area where you were actually weak.
In the world of organizational performance, the church stands apart in a significant way from all other organizations. At the same time, the church continues to incorporate organizational skills used by secular organizations, many of which have assisted the church in doing great things to spread the Gospel.
Many larger churches have taken on the management structure of corporations with the lead pastor and numerous supporting staff mirroring corporate CEOs and managers or vice presidents. Organizational structures which help churches operate effectively reflect good stewardship of resources.
As human beings we have many things in common, one of them is that all of us have been wounded by someone. For some the wound or wounds have been deep, disorienting, painful and catastrophic. I know there are the few who have never been able to overcome the wounds in order to take responsibility for their lives and have had to be taken care of for the remainder of their lives. People like this are the exception. For most of us, we must decide how we will go on with life having been wounded.
As leaders in this COVID-19 new normal, we will have to learn how to function outside the box of our normal way of doing things or our comfort zone if we are going to be effective going forward. But before we can function outside our comfort zone, we first must learn how to think outside our comfort zone.
When things are new and different and we must learn how to function in them, we tend to get nervous, anxious, afraid and sometimes plain angry. Sometimes, the new way of functioning is not as difficult compared to the mental shift we have to make in order for us to start functioning in it. It gets even more difficult when you had no say in the new normal and you have to go along with it anyway.
In this new novel coronavirus environment, one of the challenges many leaders face is how to empower their people to work effectively and efficiently. For many, working from home has become the norm. That means you as the leader are not physically present with them, so you are not sure how effective they are being.
I believe if you come up with ways to empower your team, you will be as successful if not even more successful than pre-coronavirus.
I am looking out of my apartment window in the complex where my family and I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is little after 9 on a Monday morning, April 20, 2020. Usually by this time I am on the campus of the college that my wife and I are leading. But today is day 25 of the lockdown here in South Africa. We have been out of our complex only four times in the past 24 days. This has been quite an adjustment for us; under normal circumstances we rarely go a day without leaving the complex.