Recall the last mistake you made. How did you handle it? Did you own up to it, and perhaps learn something from it? Or did you try to blame it on someone or something else and move on? Or were so mad at yourself you did not take the time to see what you could have learned from the experience? If your response was the latter, you have plenty of company: it is the response of most people.
Most of us fear making mistakes, and when we make them, we try to rationalize them away. The reality is, mistakes are a part of life and we should not live our lives in fear of making them. Rather we should learn from our mistakes or we run the risk of repeating them.
How can we learn from our mistakes?
Two of the most dominant attitudes and actions in our society today are anger and hostility. We could use much more kindness and gentleness. We have a choice of which of those we want to characterize our lives. The challenge is that expressing anger and hostility seems to arise much more naturally but showing kindness and gentleness requires us to be intentional.
One of the challenges we all have to learn to overcome is to realize there are some things we have no control over. Too often we allow things we can’t control to get us angry and frustrated. The sooner we come to grips with the reality that we don’t have control over them, the sooner we better manage or react to our circumstances.
For example, we allow the behavior, attitude or ways of thinking and speaking of others to bother us to the point of worry and anger. When we allow the way someone is behaving to affect us, we are giving energy to things over which we have no control.
As you enter into this New Year and new decade, my question to you is simply this: What do you hope for in 2020? Or, stated another way: What do you desire for your life in 2020?
I know the idea of resolutions is not particularly effective or motivational. As a matter of fact, many of us do not even want to hear the word resolution used around this time of the year because it has been abused and misused.
If you knew one question that would have prevented you from making a major life mistake, would you have asked it?
What if you discovered that question today? Would you use it to help avoid mistakes in your decisions going forward?
I think I just heard your response: “Well, duh!”
The question is available to you, and you can start using it immediately.
Good and successful leaders are approachable leaders. Their followers find it easy to approach them with whatever concerns they may have. Good leaders don’t hear things from third parties, their followers are comfortable with approaching them directly.
Approachability comes over time as you, the leader, intentionally create a culture of trust and openness so your followers can feel safe and confident in approaching you. There are a number of things you can be intentional about in your leadership that will make you an approachable leader.
It is one thing to know thyself; it is quite another to embrace what you know about yourself. You really cannot effectively make yourself known to others if you have not embraced who you are.
The struggle to embrace the real you may have come from a number of different places.
Most of us grew up hearing the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” My friends, wherever that phrase came from, it is far from reality. The pain that words can cause is as deep as the deepest sea! Words can hurt and they can hurt deeply.
Think of how many conflicts you either have been a part of or have seen others engage in that were all about the words that were spoken. Wars have been started over words. People have been killed or physically hurt because of words. To say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is simply not true.
Try as you may, you cannot avoid conflict in relationships. It is a natural part of our human existence. As such, you need to figure out how best to deal with it rather than avoid it.
When all you do is try to avoid conflict in a relationship, you are only allowing it to get worst. The longer you wait or the harder you try to avoid it, the worse the conflict will become.
The Lenten season serves to remind us of many things, including our humanity (really, our mortality!) and our dependence on God. For most of us though, we have the tendency to first rely on our humanity and only turn to God when we have exhausted our human options.
The story of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness (Matt.4: Lk.4) is a good reminder to us that if we are going to have the victory over any temptation, we must learn to rely on God more than we rely on our own strength and resources.