One of the challenges we all have to learn to overcome is to realize there are some things we have no control over. Too often we allow things we can’t control to get us angry and frustrated. The sooner we come to grips with the reality that we don’t have control over them, the sooner we better manage or react to our circumstances.
For example, we allow the behavior, attitude or ways of thinking and speaking of others to bother us to the point of worry and anger. When we allow the way someone is behaving to affect us, we are giving energy to things over which we have no control.
As you enter into this New Year and new decade, my question to you is simply this: What do you hope for in 2020? Or, stated another way: What do you desire for your life in 2020?
I know the idea of resolutions is not particularly effective or motivational. As a matter of fact, many of us do not even want to hear the word resolution used around this time of the year because it has been abused and misused.
How prepared are you to deal with opposition?
Too many leaders, when facing opposition, leave their responsibilities and move on to a place of less opposition. In some cases, this is because they are not prepared to deal with the hardships that come with being a leader. Some leaders believe that leading should be easy and without opposition because they have the authority and power to lead and make decisions; they believe people should follow them, not oppose them.
As a leader your use of words is by far the most influential tool you have to impact those you lead. Your words define the culture of the organization. The question is not whether your organization has a culture, but what kind of culture you have created and continue to build?
Let us look at some ways in which your words help create the culture of your organization.
In today’s busy world it is common to think that unless you are crazy busy you are somehow not being effective or normal. Unfortunately, we have bought into the myth that busy is normal.
I recall a time in my life as a leader when I bought into that myth. I was on call 24/7 and felt I was needed; that gave me a sense of value. In the process, I neglected my family, my health, and my spiritual and psychological well-being.
What are some signs that you may be doing too much?
Imagine the head of an organization who is sharp, intelligent and articulate but most people can’t seem to get along with her. She does not connect well with people and she does not see it as her lack of ability, but thinks that others do not “get” her.
Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking work Emotional Intelligence, has raised awareness of the importance of leaders having emotional intelligence if they are to be successful.
Who are you?
What comes to mind when you read that question? I imagine you are thinking about your name, age, your family background and your career. Usually when asked that question, someone wants to know something along those lines.
The same question can be asked but with deeper meaning. This time think of the question in the context of the person you are inside that affects who you are on the outside.
While it’s true that leaders are not born they are made, it is also true that successful leaders all have some things in common. Talk with any successful leader and you will find these four essential leadership skills they all have in common.
Recently, as I coached a leader, we discussed how difficult life had been over the past year but was now on the upswing. I then asked her to reflect on what had made the last year so tough and why was the present different?
The leader is involved currently in something that is very new and exciting, and she is passionate about it. So I asked the question, “How much of a difference is your improved situation tied to your involvement in something that you’re passionate about and is new and exciting?” The leader was quick to point out that although this new and exciting thing did help, it was not as big a reason as one might think.
If you knew one question that would have prevented you from making a major life mistake, would you have asked it?
What if you discovered that question today? Would you use it to help avoid mistakes in your decisions going forward?
I think I just heard your response: “Well, duh!”
The question is available to you, and you can start using it immediately.