What makes some leaders stand out as great, while others are seen as average? Why do some leaders succeed wherever they are, while some leaders struggle?
You may be familiar with the saying, “Leaders are born not made.” While the saying remains debatable, most will agree that there are certain core qualities, whether natural or learned, that all successful and great leaders possess.
Last week I talked about how our use of words impact and shape all our relationships. This week I want to focus more specifically on the leaders and the power of their words.
As a leader, your use of words is by far the most influential tool you have for guiding and molding those you lead. Your words define the culture of the organization. The question is not whether your organization has a culture, but what kind of culture you have created?
Let us look at some ways in which your words help create the culture of your organization.
I grew up hearing the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me.” As I grew to adulthood and became honest with my pain in life, I had to admit that words do hurt. Words can hurt so deeply that recovery time is often much longer than the time needed for a broken bone to heal. For some of us, healing has taken most of our lives while others struggle to embrace the healing because they have been hurt so deeply.
On the other hand, words can build us up to believe in ourselves. We grow to be confident, hopeful and caring because of words spoken to us. Such words may continue to inspire us long after they are spoken. Think about the words you heard while growing up that inspired you to be the person you are today. The people who spoke those words are easy to recall.
Heart Connection (by Alisa Looney)
In my work with leaders during the past year, I have come to realize that one of the areas most leaders are continually challenged by is emotional intelligence. Therefore, I thought we should revisit the topic I blogged about just over a year ago.
Imagine the head of an organization who is sharp, intelligent and articulate, but most people can’t seem to get along with her. She does not connect well with people, but she does not see it as her lack of ability – she thinks that others do not “get” her.
Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking work Emotional Intelligence, has raised awareness of the importance of leaders having emotional intelligence if they are to be successful.
I believe emotional intelligence is crucial for the success of any leader. In many cases, emotional intelligence becomes the key factor in how well you guide and care for the people under your leadership.
Coleman identified five areas you must attend to in order to develop emotional intelligence.
Has anyone ever kept you waiting for an appointment? Have you ever experienced someone cutting in front of you in traffic or at the grocery store?
What went through your mind when these things happened? If you are like many people, you reacted with anger or frustration because the person appeared to disrespect you in some way.
What would be your reaction if you found out that the person was late because they were involved an accident that injured a child? Or what if you knew that the person who cut in front of you had just received news from their doctor that they had terminal cancer?
Again, if you are like most people, you likely would have feelings of guilt for being angry or frustrated at them, and you would have greater understanding of their behavior. The reason for your change of feelings and perspective is because, in the first instance you assumed the person was being disrespectful; but when you knew the truth, you had a change of heart.
As a leader are you aware that your style of leadership and the direction in which you lead your people is a direct reflection of where you are centered or focused?
When you are asked to lead one thing is clear: you lead from where you are centered.
Usually a leader is centered on one of three areas:
Where you are centered will determine your leadership style, influence, accomplishments and legacy.
Wednesday, May 13th, marked the first anniversary of the start of my blog on Life and Leadership Development Coaching. I had no idea when I started how long it would last or how consistent I would be. During the past year, I have been able to post a weekly blog without missing a week.
As I reflect on the past year, I am indebted most of all to God who called me to do something I knew was way out of my league and a huge mountain to climb. But I live my life following the quote on a plaque that was given to me by very dear friend. It reads, “The will of God never leads where His grace cannot keep.” These words have never been truer for me than during the past year posting a weekly blog.
Conflict is one leadership responsibility that you most certainly will have to face. Yet many leaders do not take the time in advance to think about how they will deal with conflict when it arises. Rather too many adopt a conflict avoidance style of leadership. The only action they are willing to take when conflict arises is to try to shut it down and hope it will go away in time.
When conflict is not managed in a healthy and helpful way, the fallout may be great. Relationships are broken or strained, people get hurt, and the people you are leading might lose their way. On the other hand when it is handled in helpful and healthy ways, the results are often positive and forward moving. Relationships are strengthened, obstacles overcome, and trust is developed in the leader.
So how should a leader handle conflict?