Category Archives: Leadership Coaching

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Facing Opposition as a Leader

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argueHow prepared are you to deal with opposition?

Too many leaders, when facing opposition, leave their responsibilities and move on to a place of less opposition. In some cases, this is because they are not prepared to deal with the hardships they come up against. Some leaders believe that leading should be without opposition because they have the authority and power to lead and make decisions; they believe people should follow them, not oppose them.

Being a leader in God’s Kingdom is never without opposition. In Matthew 5:11 we read that Jesus

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New Beginnings, Part 2

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Family timeOften, in the busyness of life certain important areas of our lives get neglected in pursuit of the urgent. While this may be true of most of us, it seems especially true of leaders in general, and in particular, those called to lead the church of Jesus Christ and her institutions.

The truth be told, God does not want us as leaders to neglect the important areas of our lives in pursuit of building of His Kingdom. Instead, He desires that we learn how to balance doing His work with taking care of the important areas of our lives, because in His economy of things, they are not separated.

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New Beginnings, Part 1

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5837865120_ea5ccebf78_z (1)We often think of a new day as a new beginning. We also have new beginnings in relationships, careers, or when moving into a new house or another state or country. In some ways we face new beginnings daily. Some of these are good, others not so good, and some really great.

Today let’s focus on new beginnings in areas you may have been neglecting in pursuit of things that are all good, but if you do not begin anew in these areas, the price will be costly.

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Why We Find It Difficult to Trust Others

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Trust thrown in airWhy do you find it so difficult to trust others? Why do you find it amusing when a child is honest and trusting? You were once like that child, completely trusting and honest with those around you. What has transpired from childhood to adulthood that now makes trusting others so difficult?

I have spoken with many people who say they know they need to start trusting others but they don’t know if they can. When I ask why, the typical answer is, “I am afraid others would judge me or not like me if they get to know the real me.” They also fear letting others know that they are struggling.

Why do we find it difficult to trust others with who we are?

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Ultimately, the Buck Really Does Stop with You!

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buck stops hereThe phrase, “the buck stops here,” was made popular by President Harry S. Truman. The phrase was on his desk in the Oval Office as a reminder to himself and the nation he was leading that ultimately the final responsibility was his. The phrase implies that the responsibility for something cannot or should not be passed on to someone else. No one to blame, no scapegoating or making of excuses. Let that sit with you for a while before reading any further.

What might happen if you were to approach living your life in this way? Rather than doing the thing that comes naturally—blaming others and making excuses, you start saying, “the buck stops with me,” and you take total responsibility for your life.

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Getting Along with Difficult People

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Angry peopleWe have all encountered someone who we have a difficult time getting along with. Reasons vary for why we struggle to get along with some people, while we seem to have no problem with others.

With some, it is the short fuse or seemly uncontrollable anger. Others might have mood swings that make them hard to get along with because you can never tell what temper they’ll be in at any given time. Others are overly sarcastic. Then there are those who are never wrong and nothing is ever their fault; they are masters of blame-shifting.

We have all encountered someone who is challenging to be around, whether at home or work. It may be a family member, a neighbor, a friend or an acquaintance. As a matter of fact, sometimes we are the ones who are hard to get along with. But let me offer some guidance for getting along with difficult people.

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When Listening is Most Difficult

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Ears pluggedLast week I looked at listening as foundational to a healthy relationship. If you are to have and maintain healthy relationships at any level, you must learn to be a good listener.

Listening is most challenging during conflict. In such cases emotions run high, with anger being the dominant. When emotions run high, reason can hardly prevail. And without reason rising above emotions, conflict escalates, often leading to serious consequences for all involved. Many times in the middle of a conflict you may have heard the phrase, “You are not listening to me!” Or perhaps you used it yourself.

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Good Listening is Foundational to Healthy Relationships

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good talkTo be human is to be in relationship. We cannot survive without it. Whether you are a parent, neighbor, friend, spouse or a leader, you depend on healthy relationships to get along with others. The foundation on which all relationships are built is good communication. When communication is good, relationships are healthy; when communication is poor, relationships are poor as well. Regardless of whom you are relating to, good communication is the key to building and maintaining a healthy relationship.

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Don’t Lose Your Way

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Photo credit: Mike_tn / Foter / CC BY-NC-NDReality check: Some leaders will lose their way. As a result, their leadership will either be badly damaged or completely destroyed. For some, much hard work will be required to restore their role as a leader; others may never be given another opportunity to lead.

So the question arises: Are there steps that you as a leader can take that will keep you from losing your way?

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Providing Helpful, Negative Feedback

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ConversationProviding negative feedback may be beneficial or harmful depending on how and by whom it is given. Most of us do not enjoy giving or receiving negative feedback. Yet without the benefit of negative feedback we usually fall way short of realizing our fullest potential.

As objective as we think we are, and as honest with ourselves as we try to be, still we are unable to become our best unless we are able to effectively give and receive helpful, negative feedback.

We all have been around people, family, friends, work colleagues or the person in line at the grocery store who needed some helpful, negative feedback, but we weren’t sure how to go about giving it.

Last week we looked at some of the reasons we fail to give negative feedback. Now let’s look at how we might go about giving negative feedback in a helpful way.