The struggle to embrace the real you may have come from a number of different places.
- Growing up in an abusive home.
- Having unrealistic expectations set for you while growing up.
- Always being reminded of the wrongs you did.
- Being put down by those closest to you: parents, siblings, family, etc.
- Fear of rejection.
- Always being compared with others.
Obviously, any number of other reasons may have led you to not accept the real you. You may still carry wounds of the past or you still may be trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. Before you can begin to let others know the real you, you must first accept and embrace your true self.
Perhaps you have regrets about some things, and to this day, you live with the consequences. Maybe you have discovered that you are not as good or competent as you thought you were in some areas but are afraid to admit it. How should you go about embracing these things about yourself?
- First, recognize you cannot change the past. Therefore, continuing to revisit or relive past events, wishing they were different, serves no good purpose. The reality is, the past is what it is – the past. Accept the past as a part of who you are which cannot and will not change. Take responsibility for what you have control over, and deal with whatever consequences have followed. Beyond that, you are wasting present time and energy on something that will never change. Don’t be imprisoned by the past, instead use the past to help you live more effectively in the present and to create a better future. While you are certainly influenced by the past, you need not be defined by the past.
- Seek healing for the hurts of the past. Many of us carry hurts we experienced as children, which hinder our present living. We need to seek out the necessary help to get the healing we need.
- Recognize what you are good at, regardless of what the negative voices of the past or present are saying. See the good in you as God’s gifts to you. Do not be afraid or ashamed to celebrate and live out God’s good gifts to you. Sometimes we need others to help us see the good in us. Especially if you were raised to believe there was nothing good about you. There are many good things about all of us. We only need others to help us identify them in us.
We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have things about the past we wish were not a part of our life. Yet only those of us, who fully embrace who we are now, are able to let others know who we really are.
To embrace who you are means to accept yourself without excuse, apology, or shame.
Have you truly embraced who you are or are you still struggling to let go of the past? Are you still trying to please others?
What is something you have been doing out of the expectations of others, guilt or shame? And what one thing do you wish you could be doing because it is truly you? Tell someone about these two things. Begin today to do what you know is truly you, and if possible, stop doing what you have been doing merely out of expectation, guilt or shame. Then you will experience the feeling of freedom that comes with truly embracing the real you.
If you would like help in achieving your goals as a leader or in any area of your life, call us at 208-880-0307 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule a complimentary coaching session. To read Errol’s other posts, visit Christ-Centered Life Coaching.